Ha... so I see you're very punny

Just Saturday I was writing about how D stood me up, and now I’m writing to tell you all I have a possible date on Wednesday with J2.

J2. 

What should I say about J2? He’s attractive, seemingly goal-oriented, and happens to be the first guy I reached out to personally.

I almost don’t want to talk about him because I don’t want him to stand me up like D did. I guess that’s kind of superstitious of me.

What I know about J2 is pretty vague. He has a love for underground hip-hop, and an “open mind.” He has a football player frame, but I don’t know what exactly he does for a living. I’ve asked and he told me he was an “ass model.”

Yep, that’s what he told me. An “ass model.” Haha, what does that even mean? But based on his profile, he seems to be a little more… "ambitious" than that, so I didn’t believe him. He uses words like “attain” and “vision” in his profile, and all of his pictures are of him in a suit! Well, other than the one of him skydiving. So c’mon, I wasn’t about to believe this dude was an ass model.

In fact, I didn’t believe him so much so, I sent him this reply:

Ooooh, of course, an ass model. I was going to guess that, actually. Totally seems like your thing.... But I have a feeling you're pulling my leg... I feel like I'm being made to be the BUTT of your joke.

Haha, I should probably erase that incredibly corny pun but I just don't have it in me.

Yea, I actually said that to someone I don’t know at all. I know I can be sarcastic, but I don’t even usually use puns, haha! Still, I got the vibe he could take it, so I waited for his reply. He sent: 

Ha.... so I see you're very punny. Yes I am an ass model. Tell me about some of YOUR dreams and aspirations.

Oh nooo, Jasmine. You offended the guy! I felt like such an asshole, I sent him:

Lol, omg, I seriously didn't believe you! I've never even heard of an "ass model"! Hand models, leg models, feet models, but never have I heard of an ass model. What does an ass model do? I hope I didn't offend you, but I probably did!

Lol, shit. I guess you think I'm a total jerk. I'm so sorry!

I have lots of dreams and aspirations. Do you even want to hear after I've offended you?

He said:

Haha I see that you are somewhat gullible. LMAO I'm not an ass model. I would imagine that they model their assets though... I can be punny too. Lmao let's hear your dreams and aspirations.

And finally, I said:

LMAO I knew it! I should've stuck with my gut! Wow, you got me. 

Good pun, too. LOL I was going to send you, "I feel like such an asshole" but I decided against it LOL... Man, you got me real good. I like your style, haha. I'm getting the sense you're a little troublemaker..

Then he asked me for my number and what I was doing next week. So that’s who I’m dealing with. I think I like it. But I also liked D’s responses too, so unfortunately, liking his banter does not mean he won’t be an inconsiderate jerk in real life. I asked J2 what he really did and he skated around the question... so we’ll see what that’s about.

For all I know, his pictures are from 5 years ago, he lied about everything on his profile, and he really is an "ass model," with three kids from three different baby mommas.

We have a tentative date this Wednesday. Time and place still to be determined. He said he would text me further details later today.

All I can do is be myself and hope for the best.