Dating: A Game of Statistics

For a woman, I’m very open to reaching out but I do like for the man to be a go-getter. If he doesn’t put forth the effort, he’s not worth my time, cute or not. I texted JDrums on Sunday and we chatted for a bit but nothing major. He just finished touring and is probably getting settled in his hometown. I reached out last, so I won’t be doing it again. 

Honestly, I know the situation isn’t ideal. He lives 2,000 miles away, tours the country for a living, and did I mention he has a daughter? But as I said before, you don’t come by a spark that often, and if it’s mutual, it excites me. I’m a romantic at heart so if I want someone, I’ll willing to do what it takes to explore the possibilities. I don’t know JDrums from Adam. He could be a total jerk. I just want to explore his personality, but if he’s preoccupied and has got other things on his mind (which he clearly does), it’s not a big loss. There are other people out here.

Speaking of which, on Sunday, I exchanged numbers with another guy I’ve been chatting with for about two weeks. His first name starts with “I” but that can be confusing so I’ll call him TLN.

I messaged TLN first because it seemed like his screen name had something to do with photography. Once I found out it didn’t, that was ok because there was a lot more that was interesting.

TLN seems to be a very intelligent, nerdy-cute white guy. He works and loves computers but what really got me was his involvement with organic farming and his year on a college commune. We talked back and forth and he seemed interested, based off the fact that he would send long, detailed responses and usually ask a question back. Always a good sign.

We talked about buying land, and food security, and technological advancement and how it has the ability to mold the world into something more fair and balanced. He even told me he desired to live off the grid at one time, but has since toned down that dream because of his steady job in the city.

That was a big deal to me because I feel like I’ll always have a burning desire to live off the grid, even if I never get the chance to. All of those things really peaked my interest because I’ve never had the opportunity to meet someone who is so involved in that facet of life. I’ve always been interested but I never had “an in.” Not yet, at least.

So after all of that discussion online, he finally asked me for my number and said he would like to get “tea/beer.” I didn't offer my number first because he was sporadically online and I wasn’t sure if he was interested in meeting me. Now that we’ve exchanged numbers, we’ve talked briefly. He reached out Sunday, I reached out Monday, but conversation has fell short. We’ll see how it goes.

It’s really weird how conversation flows online, but falters off when you actually exchange numbers. Well, he wasn’t that consistent online either, so this isn’t too surprising. It’s only been two days so it’s no big deal, but statically, we’ll probably never meet, haha.

Well, JDrums just called! We had a good, mildly awkward talk, haha. Seems to be some synergy there because while he’s an artist, he likes science and is also working for some science organization with kids. I’m working with science, too, but in an artistic way, and will hopefully be working with kids in the near future.

He cut right to the chase and asked me when I’m coming to see him in his town, haha. I didn’t take him that seriously—I think he just wanted to see what I would say. He said he’ll be coming to California for sure in August to visit his grandmother and would like the opportunity to see me. We shall see. Going to keep all lines open meanwhile, but I’ll admit I’m looking forward to this development with JDrums.

Who knew one night at that random place in West Virginia would lead to this. I’m really looking forward to getting to know him. Hopefully, we can be somewhat consistent in communication so I can get a feel for what type of person he is.

I will not put all my eggs in one basket though. Like I said, I will keep all my lines open. I will still talk to J2, and be open to going out with TLN if he asks. All of my other options have pretty much fallen through as far as I’m concerned. L texted me yesterday but hasn’t done so in 10 days. Ten days ago I sent him a light-hearted vine and asked him if he saw it before. It took him 10 days to say that he “couldn’t open the video :-(“ 

Yea, ok. I will not be responding. Before that, probably 14 days ago, he “wanted to get together today” but couldn’t because his job scheduled him to work. He volunteered that information out of the blue, didn’t ask me beforehand, and didn’t ask me when I was free in the future. No thanks. I have too much confidence and respect for myself to ignore the fact that there are other people out here more interesting and worthy of my time. I’m certainly have my flaws, but I deserve to be respected and taken seriously.

J has fallen off. No real explanation for that. We never got the chance to meet, so no love lost.

Jo definitely fell off. No explanation for that either. He wasn’t that great of a texter, said so himself, but he never asked me out. Never met, no love lost.

T randomly sent me “hey” a few days ago. I haven’t talked to him since he sent me a picture of himself. I knew what that meant so I nipped that in the bud from jump. Didn’t get a good feeling from and the fact that he waited 3 weeks to say anything else to me is a no-no. He must be out of f*ck buddies.

I stopped talking to W because I didn’t like his vibe either. He seemed nice but I felt like he was off too. I always go with my gut.

At the end of the day, this is just a game of statistics. I’ll find someone eventually, but only through trial and error.